Black Friday is a professional sport requiring protective gear and a strategic plan. Many try with their proverbial “no thank you helping”. One must be completely organized. Those with OCD (not DSM-V diagnosis-Obsessively Creative and Detailed) will excel in this adventure.

Reconnaissance begins weeks prior. Yes, ads can be viewed online prior to the cherished newspaper yet do not offer an accurate depiction of what one wants or needs in some cases. Ads are perused to begin the co-op mission planning.

It disgusts me that Black Friday has been taken over by Black Thursday. Thanksgiving is a celebration of fellowship between family and friends who may only see each other once or twice a year (the other being Christmas), eating then spending the remainder of the day planning the mission!! I empathize with those in need of a great deal. Years ago as I gazed at the magical Christmas sparkle in my children’s eyes I was distraught at the thought of telling them “Santa cannot afford gifts this year” (leading to another story I share at Christmastime reaffirming that Santa does exist as I found a large sack of gifts at my front door).

Also, by opening on Thanksgiving, the sport becomes lost to many holding a long standing tradition. Regardless of deals offered, my mother and I cherish our devoted ritual. Attempts to include others has not turned out well for us as a third member becomes a third-wheel….unless they also drive!

For tradition’s sake, I cannot decline on the opportunity to meet people! Only during this time of extreme fatigue can you become best friends with someone who will hold your place in line while you drive to the store for coffee and a much needed restroom break, provided you bring them back some coffee as well.

Last year a woman in line had almost the same list as I did in Target so we made a deal, she went for the items we knew to be on the right side of the store and I went for those on the left and met at the register with each others’ items. We ended up seeing each other at several other locations later that morning.

The weekend before Thanksgiving, my mother and I typically go to the common places we shop at on Black Friday. We get a feel for the layout of the store and notate any unopened boxes in the middle of the aisles. This is again done on Wednesday. Wal-Mart is known for placing pallets in the middle of the aisles and that is important to know where each pallet is.. As most stores do not willingly hand over a map of the store, I simply draw out my own! I typically make a few extra copies and hand them out to others standing in line…again, as an introduction to meet people.

We also begin to make friends with cashiers asking if they are working that Friday. It’s just nice to have a point of contact. One year we brought a Hot Chocolate to a woman who had to be at Kohl’s at 3 am that my mother and I met the Wednesday before. When she went into work that Friday morning and we stood shivering in the cold, I handed her a cup of hot chocolate. She returned my smile and gave me a hint of where I would find a particular item that I was going for.

On Thursday it is necessary to purchase 3 newspapers. The newspapers must be purchased from different areas around town in case some may be missing a particular ad. I usually purchase one by my home in Pace, one is purchased by the Davis Highway area and one is purchased either downtown Pensacola or closer to the Westside of town. Please take note that driving in a circular pattern around the Pensacola News Journal facility frightens a few of the delivery people. Last year, one gentleman finally flagged me down after my 36th time around the building and just gave me a paper. I was greatly appreciative!

The ads are scrutinized to find the deals that are truly deals. One set of ads is put aside and kept whole to peruse while standing in line…in case the buzz through the line leads us to wanting another item. The other two sets are to organize the mission.

While in line my mother and I review and rehearse our items. We have memorized the item description and the price. We know where the items typically would be but do not commit to that knowing that most stores place doorbuster items in areas not often shopped in such as the men’s clothing or bedding. No, electronics are never in the electronics section…those are often in auto or by the hunting gear. Few men flock to those areas on Black Friday as they are often snuggled up at home still sleeping of their food induced coma, or tryptophan from the turkey (something I do not eat much of on Thanksgiving as it hinders my ability to stay awake and stay focused).

We get to the first location two hours, sometimes even more so we can begin our strategy. Maps are also drawn out for the purpose of travel to and from locations. Special note is taken on areas of town with high traffic finding the best back roads with few lights. Parking is never an issue. Only amateur’s drive around looking for a “good” parking spot. Professional’s are geared and trained to pull in, park and run…besides; the closer to the exit, the faster the way out.

The end of the shopping day has traditionally landed my mother and I to a severely unhealthy lunch around 11 am at Krystal’s and a revisit to some of the stores to see if that sweater we saw and grabbed when we were running through JC Penney’s was actually a great deal or not. Also, this is the time that many stores begin to allow the use of additional coupons.

The last store has always been the Dollar Store. For reasons unknown, my mother and I are always punch-drunk by this time and seem to begin laughing hysterically at absolutely anything.

There are a few important things to remember.

Have a team member…a partner but more than two in a car becomes a safety hazard and an opportunity to accidentally leave someone at a store. (Sorry brother!)

Yes, have some coffee to keep awake but be careful on retaining all of that fluid! There is no time to take a bathroom break until after the bustle of stores to navigate through. The best option is to take turns with your team member while standing in line.

As you are entering the store, don’t shove through people; navigate through the holes between people. As you enter, holler at the team member that is standing near… “Where is ______”. If they don’t have an answer, don’t wait!! Your speed should not slow as you are talking…go towards the area and ask team members on your way!!

Buggies….only amateurs use buggies! I laugh when I see someone grab a buggy…amateur!!! Buggies are also a hazard and will slow you down! I reminded myself of this last year as I was seen at Toys R Us, my mother left me to pay while she went to retrieve the car. I had in my possession and stacked taller than myself, a large box of diapers, large box of wipes, karaoke machine, 2 Little Tykes construction play sets and in each hand, large bags filled with Lego’s and other knick knacks. I ended up having to do the “crab-walk” to the door.People gazed in amazement and I could only assume they were thinking to themselves… “that woman has skill!” As I stated before, lots of training is put into this mission and that includes stretching and limbering up my flexibility and range of motion.

Wear layers…yes it will be cold but a big heavy coat will weigh you down and keep you from sprinting and holding larger items. Peel the layers off in the car as you drive to the next area. If the mission is done correctly and the navigational route has prepared, one will not stay cold for long. Stores are warm and you will be flush from running.

Carry a credit card but have back up cash. If you are on a mission with a team member, don’t worry about – this is yours, this is mine…When you grab all items on your itemized list, go straight to the check-out and purchase the items. The first one to the car, get in and drive to the front door to pick up the other member. At the end of the day, go through the receipts to figure out who owes what to whom. Keep these items as well as your drivers license in your front pocket. Sadly, this is a time for on-looking thieves to swipe a purse and besides, purses will hinder your ability to carry other items.

Cell phones are a must!!! But conversations should be quick and to the point….aisle 5 checking out….getting car will pick you up…..need reinforcements (translated to need someone to hold place in checkout to go to the restroom, or need help getting remainder items once you are finished).

The most important tip to remember….this is a time of fun and excitement (not so for most cashiers!!) Shake it off if someone is rude…even an employee. Return their unkind gesture with a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! If something you want was not able to be found…don’t sulk!!! There will be something else!! Although, I am not sure how that feels. My mother and I, through our strategic planning, well we have always returned home with success!!

Hopefully this information will give a basis of material to work with as you begin your own strategic planning. As stated before, this has become a long standing tradition between my Mother and I so to those who berate the overall idea of Black Friday shopping saying that Thanksgiving should be a time to reunite with family members, this has brought about such a bond between us. A few years ago, after regularly making jokes about us, my sister began shopping. My heart was overwhelmed the first time she walked into the house on Thanksgiving Day with clippings of items taped to pieces of paper. This is a time that does not discourage the focus of the family uniting, it is a time where family members who most often cannot agree on anything, can come to a common ground and develop a relationship that will only deepen by Christmas and only become stronger as the years go by.

The best part, and another long standing tradition…get all shopping done then visit the mall or Wal-Mart on Christmas Eve and spend the day sipping coffee and watching the mad rush of the last minute shoppers scurrying to find that special gift!! We just get tickled doing that!!

Summer

• Special Operations Unit:
  
• Strategic Reconnaissance Planning
  
• Driver
  
• Toys
  
• Home Goods
  

Maria

• Special Operations Unit:
  
• Communications Specialist
  
• Passenger Driver
  
• Pours coffee for driver while en route
  
• Electronics
  

Annika (Summer’s daughter)

• Special Operations Unit:
  
• Currently beginning training for Special Co-Ops Mission of “Line Holder”
  
• Training for this specialty takes in excess of 2-3 years.