Chained

to the bed

imprisoned by depression

@theseasonalsummer

#iamawriternottheauthor

www.theseasonalsummer.com

One breath to carry through.

One sigh.

One murmur of my heart, that skipped a beat that day.

One intentional moment of trust.

One last breath.

And then it was said.

This was the morning that ended

me.

Lying on my side, still,

a tear-stained pillow,

a purplish-gray of pain,

bedspread, highlighted in silver.

Black smudges,

patches of dried saliva

lay lifeless along the pillowcase.

that had itself, been flattened

by prolonged depression.

My body;

lifeless,

to that prayer that had gone

unanswered,

I wanted it to be.

I wanted to swirl down into the sewer along with you

that day.

That day that took me away.

That day an ambulance came.

That day riding to the hospital.

Then

the news,

you would simply absorb

away.

Days.

weeks.

I haven't even a clue as to how long passed.

And then there was you.

Helplessly you were placed in front of me.

Crying and mewing

as if to say,

I lost my lifeline.

Help me survive.

This day.

Today.

My eyes still but puffed over slits, swelled by deflation,

seeing only sadness.

I placed my hands on your head.

The entirety of this body

a dark gray contrasting

with the grays I had been in.

Fuzz. Covered in fuzz,

this gray ball of fluff

with toothpick-like legs

breaking through,

revealing a hidden lighter shade

with deep gray stripes.

This life was calling to my heart.

My husband, now sitting at the foot of the bed,

a man who boasted of having an answer.

He, the man throughout our time together,

individuals would flock to him to hear his word.

He was like a crow watching me

as he continued to regurgitate for my feeding,

just enough to sustain me.

That’s an absolutely different story though.

This one is about

what brought me

back to

life.

My husband laid this kitten on me while sharing her recent tragedy. She lost her mom. I had just lost a child.

Welcome to our home.

ADDy.

Catipalize the ADD

for her attenspan

as she walks across my keyboard,

Y?

Because she’s

ADDy

addY

cat

Born March 17, 2017

Meow